THE princess and the Popper

Bereft of my sleeping aids, I sonambulate. Straighten this picture, flush this toilet, total this thirty rack.

Flush with this hand, spread your grip and grasp. Stack chips like stock brokers used to. Take stock. Brokers. Battle for my job pushing that rented Beamer to the drivethru for a four piece tender, Rodeo Cheeseburger and an application.

Pack a lip. Smoke a butt and breathe deep. Exasperated with exhalation. You got rich and got broke. You've been broke and still are. Still rich and not tryin. Get broke and die happy. Counting friends on one hand, and tabulating the tip on the other. 20 percent on beer and boneless wings. Adding your phone number to the customer copy.

You drove juiced and avoid a dewey cause you picked the cops badge up off the bartopp before last call. You dump the rental into the trees fuckin with the steering wheel cause you didnt know that new cars with new radios have alternate volume controls. You killed the backseat passenger and walked away. They copped a broken neck and you broke your Ipod.

You got nothing to play for my eulogy even though you had the best song. Three chords to sum up a sub par performance. I had a bachelors, and you've mastered denial.

EMpTY billfolds flop credit cards
emPtying futures in the bar
sink cleaning classes like clocks tick
Talk floats and they know
You're broke and keeping up
appearances with stained power ties
and overindulgence.

NO tIME fOR LOve Dr. JOnES

I am trying to force it. Press it, place it, put it here. Write it down, tie it up, force it out. Need it? Roll it, make it supple. Foist it, cram it. Trying to kick? Wrap its legs and tickle its toes.

I haven't cut myself off. It was more of a battlefield amputation. A rusty bonesaw and sepsis are more pleasant than the phantom ache of a missing appendage. Try taking the guitar solo out of your favorite song and listening to it on blown speakers. Then put it on repeat for thirtysix hours. An I SCREAM headache without the waffle cone. No jimmies. No sprinkles.

A game of Jenga so perilous, with all the middle slats removed; the top leaning so precipitously. Its my turn and I wanna flip the table to lose, because I can't stand to slide out the one thing that's holding me up. My one and only load bearing beam.

Malleable, picking up habits like silly putty does funny pages. Pliable. Lathed to specific instructions, and left to rotate inconsequent.

I got stuck there. No buses running, the T is closed. Red lined. There's snow emergency when immerging from the throes just pins and needles. Cushioned falls, taking the edge off, rice cakes instead of a steak dinner. Mission failed, on I go. Tying one on.

HAPPINESS BANG BANG SHOOT SHOOT.....is a warm..yes it is....

Remember when you could turn a walkman up loud enough to hurt your ears? Remember a walkman? Tapes. The purported savior of transportable music. The sober offspring of the besotted 8 track. Heralded.

Fuck a discman. Tapes. Analog. Wearing out a tape was a sign you knew all the words. Knew to get to your favorite track play it to one spot on the A side. Flip. Crackle. Listen.

Cats need 40 gig Ipods. Way too much music. As many portable songs as people at BHO's inauguration. Keep the change. I am too young to be a dinosaur and tapes came out when I was three.

And if you want some fun, sing

OBLADIOBLADA...llalalalalala.....

Life goes on.

Sunburned and hammered he stepped to the pavement. Wide brimmed hat and shirt 10 years older than he was. Expensive sunglasses given as a gift that he didn't deserve, winter's pasty paunch dangling above his swimtrunks. He grimaces. Figures its as good a day as any. Chinch bugs by the storm drain, a trollop in the sprinklers. Sprayed but not drenched. He giggles. Solo cup filled to the brink of explosion with a potently clear effervescent beverage, he can manage to meander loaded through the nascent southern evening. As the hoi polloi are garnished up north with rock salt and snow shovels, he is armed solely with a palpable aura of relacksayshun.

He left the brown liquor in a dirty snowbank just as Elizabeth's Islands were reaching winter's menopause. Hopped a bus to Logan with a tall boy and a pint of Black Haus. Stumbled through security and waited for a 65 dollar direct flight to America's phallus. Overserved on the plane the college freshmen next to him pulled her oversized handbag closer. Not to worry sweetheart. No threat there. He was harmless as he sung to himself.

I know its hard to keep an open heart.......when even friends seem out to haunt you.........

Heatstroke or sun poisoning? Stained wifebeater and empty fifths of flavored vodka. Lawnmowers with mexicans and pink hairdos sticking above steering wheels of late model Crown Victorias. Route 19, the carotid artery through which the blood of Pinellas and Pasco pump, runs down to the Skyway. The Gulf Coast his sandbox, he waits for the bus.

They sing.......

After all the jacks are in the boxes, and the clouds have all gone to bed, you can hear happiness standing on down the street, foot prints dressed in red...........

The Kelpie's Hibernation

Winter. I have had problems with her in the past. When shes just cold enough to rain instead of snow I despise her.

Grumbles of the booted brethren donning more layers as armor against the onslaught, aren't heard through ski masks. When I ran from her, I booked it. Quickly. Southern latitudes assuaging the soul, kneading broken spirits like dough early to rise for a jaunt on the shores of Caladesi Island.

Pockmarked, riddled with the fresh scars of November. Fresh skin glaring like birthmarks. Lips chapped. 2 sweaters, sweatshirt, winter parka. Wool hat.

A smile? Fucked if I know why. But yes, I'm wearing one like that wool chapeau. I am turning a corner. Blindly. It may be the pints that are proffered by my beaten brethren, the lads that stand in the shite weather for a living; who congregate to quaff for warmth and hobby, and yet I think it may be something more.

It's the junkies itch of the warmth to come. Boat rides. Elizabeth's Islands. Hurling invectives at wildlife for the irony. Throwing oneself off houseboat rooftops into warm water instead of into the windscreens of moving vehicles.

I will watch through the glass of her zoo enclosure as she sits silently. Patiently. Shes wait for the turn of the key to do the two stroke into Broadway.

These new scars cahn't wait to ask for the first dance.

FPL my new HOME

Soon. Real soon. I'll have something to write about, until then I write about this.

Wait until it gets colder. I'll drink less and write more. More or less, I'll drink and write. Sure. I wonder if the FPL has a policy against hip flasks or my tripping septuagenarians down the library stairs for the paltry contents of their bill folds and poggabooks.

Maybe not against the hip flasks but I'm relatively sure that there is something in the bylaws about cracking the hips of town elders.

Now I'm onto it let me tell you about the collection of riffraff and roustabouts stuffed into the computer lab of my new office.

(Falmouth Public Library: finally I have a deadline to work under as i get signed off in ten minutes)

In this millieu, this veritable pressure cooking of Falmouth's old and retarded; we currently have a loudmouth bitch on a cellphone call with Overstock.com. Fuck her in the mouth. She makes me angry. (I have to hurry know time is running low)

Then there is the young lady with a mild to severe retardation behind me screaming out the name of the emoticon everytime she sends one to her halfwit friends. SMILIY FACE!

SMILY FACE WITH TOUNGE! SAD FACE! :LAUGHING FACE:!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder what it would be like to share an open mouth kiss with her

TIMES UP.

SO OFF 10 is the answer......

How often does the hatred of something seep in the pours of your being? Does it consume you when you have to swallow a visceral reaction because of social mores?

How often do you wear your socks and/or your underwear for more than one day? How often do you eschew pertinent bills because you need money for the weekend?

How often? How often do you write?

How often do entire summers pass by like DVRed commercials? How often do you realize you left the collective months of June, July and August in the NW gut?

I fail at life more often than wireless internet connections and when you left me in July... I learned not to finish sentences.

How often are you lucky to be alive? How often are you hungover at work? How often do you think that best has past you by? How often are you a jerk?

How often in cocaine important? How often do you do it? How often is sobriety a chore? How often do you choose it?

Debit cards for bar tabs? Singles for a juke box? September around the corner? October brings the Fall? Standing on the precipice a pitcher for last call?

How often should you call her and hang up on the last ring? One more shot for winter?

End of Summer?

THINK OF SPRING.

.....Sneaked or snuck? A streak of luck......

Summer snuck in the back door like I used to with a lady friend I used to have, and like me I am happy that it came so quickly.

Now at the age of twenty-six I can laugh once again in the face of basil and squamous cell carcinoma, and chuckle quietly with feigned respect in the maw of malignant melanoma.

I seemingly lost the ability to write coherently around the same time I lost the ability to spell. It was a quick downward turn that has left me fumbling for a hobby.

I used to just write and like it. Now I write and hate it. I don't hate the writing, I hate what I write.

Clarity.

I had a dream the other nite that the Kosmonauts played a huge a show and got signed to a label. Some would say thats a nitemare not a dream. But of course in the dream, I forgot the words to a song and the crowd just sang it for me....

I am not getting old yet. I am creeping up on 30 with a half pool cue and a surly disposition, ready to smack it on the temple and lay it out.

I am supposed to buy something if I am going to use the computer in Coffee O down in Woods Hole. I have not the currency in my possesion to buy what they proffer. But like always I have the gall to stride right in and use their internet. If gall was currency, I could pay Bill Gates to ass rape Oprah and have Steven Spielberg film it.

But gall gets you nothing except slapped in the face in a world of Vineyard Vines belts and ties and Lily Pulitzer (sic?) 6 hundred dollar sun dresses. A world where things are the new other things. Nantucket red is the new pink. I have a red hat that got faded in the sun and it turned pink. I still wear that hat.

And I am vaciliating on whether or not to call it Nantucket red.

I don't own much and I live for free; sometimes in my truck, most other times in random boarding houses. I have a good job that I like. I am lonley but I should be cause I am born loner and I am fuckin greedy.

I saw my first set of extremely large breasts that rested on a girl that was out of my league. I felt like a house slave sneaking into the lady of the house's anteroom and having my way with her only to have slink out to chop wood again before being caught.

I am an outsider sitting in a screened in porch, feeling like the jump from PBR cans to High Life bottles is an expendature that will send me to a different social stratus.

So long for now...TCBeing on Cape....

Nice try shithead.

Where is the career you paid for? Who ties your tie? We'll park your Benz, while you visit our town. We'll serve your drinks you'll buy a tee shirt with the name of my isthmus and pay ninety bucks for the image of certain Labrador Retriever whose pate reflects the absence of any color what so ever.

I am not angry at my lot in my life. I have made the cliche that I will lay in. All attempts to re-acclimate my self to social interaction fail like foam insulation on the space shuttle.

Who can I write for? I can only hope for her. Your IPOD breaks and your gut gets fatter. Belabored key strokes like a brain bleed. Outside tables in the rain, getting soaked with smiles. Shes married now and high school still feels like yesterday.

Your first album is considered a plastic classic, and you still try to bump a four track dub tape on your first date. Living in '96 dreaming of '01 and wasting 08.

Rotten luck is someone elses when the precipice doesn't scare you. Revel in the inevitable come down, benzos are a fluffy blanket. Ensconced in the throes of a delirium some enjoy. Being the guy that works better with the sharp clarity of a hangover half baked out in the sun.

You've read this a million times, like you hit the snooze every 9 minutes every few months it seems that keyboard throws up.

Fuck.

Fouled Plugs

I can't right write now. Click back later.....

Its not the heat, its the STUPIDITY of the last entry, that made me erase it and use the title here.

I wrote about making ends meet versus making ends meat. Now I am grasping at straws?

Or is it grasping for straws. I picture a man drunk at a bar. I am not that man, for now he is hypothetical. I have been that man, but digressions in my state of mind are like land mines in Sarajevo; fuckin everywhere and liable to blow off the arm of a kindergartener picking daisies for her foster mom.

Wars a bitch, and it seems I digressed and you stepped on one. Grasping for straws. The man at the bar, sits placated and besotted. He notices a pubic hair on the rim of his highball glass. Its not a high class establishment, but the fact he knows its short and curly; places one across his ass. He's been on that stool through four and half reruns of Sportscenter and god knows how many games of Keno. God does know, hes sure, because he prays to him to hit the 3x multiplier, on six numbers outta a twelve point game.

Keno is more than a digression, it is in its all encompassing drunk gambling glory a literal land mine. Arms and legs blown akimbo, mine land on the carriage return.

He stinks but he doesn't want to make one. He mastered the drunken path to the head, pretending that chairs jumped in the middle of his left step stumble that no one seems to notice. He has in the past, even gone on to pretend to straighten a picture that was set on all four corners in the first place, just to keep the left step stumble in the minds of anybody that may be casting the next season of Dancing with the Winos, also known as Drinking with the Downtrodden, Downcast, and self abusing.

That one shattered your femur, and blew your patella through your quadriceps, now if you can manage to crawl to the edge of what used to be this semantic playground without hitting anymore you may be able to pretend that you care enough to keep reading what I am prattling on about.

His bar napkin, was picked apart as soon as the glass sweat enough to make it damp like his forehead. He doesn't want to pick the pube from the rim. It seemed happy to live life on the edge, even if the edge was a minuscule promontory above the lackluster effervescence of his well whiskey and Sierra Mist. Fuck that it didn't seem happy and neither was he, he was just to lazy to try and scared it may fall and ruin his BEVRIDGE.

The bartender was no where to be seen, probably out back huffin a quick butt, since it'd been like 8 years since you could smoke one inside anywhere in the godforsaken Commonwealth. He figured he could do it himself, it was just a reach that he'd stretched a million times before. He just had to angle the stool on its first two legs, stretch, snatch, rock back in retreat and polish off the rest. But as your protagonist prodded, the divine antagonists plotted and promised themselves that no fuck that drunk would ever be allowed to balance as long as they were on watch.

On the second rock forward, he knew he that maybe in trouble. The floor sticky with schwill of the rest of his kind, proved a tricky surface; and although quick to notice he was relatively slow to react and on the recoil of the third rock the stool flew out backward, toward the pool table. His propensity to overact a mishap made the proceedings look that much more foolish. He managed to grab a handful of straws, only after knocking over the fruit caddy and the Keno tickets into the ice well. Chin forward he smacked the bar rail, biting his lip more in aggression than embarrassment and due only to the force with which he was trying so hard to make the incident look to be more an accident than the daily repast that is was coming to be, he started to bleed.

Down for the count on the floor he spilled more pints of blood, bitter, blow, and account balances upon. He figured that he'd usurped the position that his father held; Dad's proclivities proved disastrous for his progeny. Covered in whiskey, he realized that he fell grasping for straws, and with a giggle prayed to the let the embarrassment subside and while he was at it hoped for his numbers to hit in the last of his three plays.

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